When Parents Become Enablers F Substance Abuse -By Yekini Lukmon

It is becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the role that some parents and guardians play, directly or indirectly, in the growing problem of drug and substance abuse in our society. While peer pressure, poverty, social influence and other factors are often identified as major drivers of substance abuse, the home remains one of the most powerful environments in shaping a child’s attitude towards drugs and other harmful substances.

Parental behaviour can significantly influence a child’s perception of what is acceptable. Children learn not only from what their parents tell them, but also from what they see their parents do.

Across many communities, disturbing stories abound of young people experimenting with, abusing and even distributing illicit substances. It is particularly troubling to see some youths combining different substances and producing dangerous concoctions. One is compelled to ask: where did they acquire such knowledge and confidence?

In some cases, the answer may lie much closer to home than we would like to admit.

Some parents who publicly attend community meetings, seminars and awareness programmes on the dangers of drug abuse may privately be doing the opposite of what they preach. While encouraging other parents to monitor their children, some may themselves be exposing their children to unhealthy habits or shielding them from the consequences of their actions.

A recent incident in Ogun State provides a disturbing illustration of how parental conduct can intersect with substance abuse. The Nigerian Correctional Service reportedly arrested Mrs Iyabo Sowunmi on August 28, 2026, during routine screening at the Medium Security Custodial Centre, Ibara, Abeokuta. Authorities alleged that a substance suspected to be the psychoactive drug known as “Colos” was concealed inside a sachet of beverage powder and was intended for her son, Dare Sowunmi, an inmate reportedly on death row. She was subsequently handed over to the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency for investigation and possible prosecution.

The allegation is deeply disturbing, not simply because of the suspected contraband, but because of the larger question it raises: how far can misplaced parental loyalty go?

Love for a child should never become a justification for enabling harmful or unlawful behaviour. Genuine parental love must include the courage to say “no”, even when saying no is painful. It must include correction, guidance, accountability and, where necessary, seeking professional or institutional help.

Children Learn What They See

Children are natural imitators. When a child repeatedly sees a parent using substances to cope with stress, disappointment or emotional difficulties, the child may begin to perceive such behaviour as normal or acceptable.

The message may not always be spoken. It may be communicated through observation.

A child who grows up watching substance use being treated casually may later turn to similar behaviour when confronted with pressure, failure, disappointment or emotional pain. This is why responsible parenting goes beyond providing food, clothing and education. Parents must also model the values they expect their children to embrace.

There is also evidence that family history can influence vulnerability to substance-use disorders. However, genetic or family vulnerability does not mean that addiction is inevitable. A supportive home environment, early intervention, positive relationships and appropriate professional assistance can make a significant difference.

Neglect Can Open the Door

Parental neglect is another issue that deserves urgent attention.

Many children who eventually become involved with harmful substances may have grown up without adequate supervision, emotional support or meaningful parental guidance. When children feel abandoned or disconnected from their families, they may seek acceptance elsewhere. Unfortunately, the neighbourhood or peer group they turn to may expose them to harmful influences.

A neglected child can easily fall into the company of people who introduce them to dangerous habits. What begins as experimentation may gradually become a serious problem.

The question parents must ask themselves is simple: Who is raising my child when I am not paying attention?

Discipline Must Not Become Cruelty

There is a difference between discipline and abuse.

Children need boundaries, but discipline should be administered with love, consistency and understanding. Excessively harsh parenting, humiliation, emotional abandonment and physical maltreatment can damage a child’s sense of security and may push some vulnerable children towards unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Parents and guardians must therefore learn to correct children without destroying their dignity.

A child should know that mistakes have consequences, but should equally know that home remains a safe place to seek guidance and help.

Love Without Accountability Is Dangerous

Another troubling trend is the tendency of some parents to mistake indulgence for love.

Some parents find it difficult to deny their children anything. They provide whatever the child demands simply because they do not want to see the child unhappy. Such parents may excuse bad behaviour, conceal wrongdoing or even intervene when the child is facing legitimate consequences.

But protecting a child from every consequence does not prepare that child for life.

There is nothing loving about providing a child with what may destroy his or her future. There is nothing compassionate about defending wrongdoing simply because the offender is one’s child.

Sometimes, the greatest expression of parental love is to refuse to participate in a child’s wrongdoing and insist that the child receives appropriate correction and help.

Early Intervention Matters

Parents must also become more observant.

Changes in behaviour, sudden withdrawal, unexplained secrecy, declining academic performance, changes in friendship groups and other warning signs should not automatically be dismissed as ordinary teenage behaviour. They should prompt calm conversation, careful observation and, where appropriate, professional intervention.

Early intervention can prevent a problem from becoming a lifelong burden.

The fight against substance abuse cannot be left entirely to government agencies, schools, religious organisations, community leaders or law-enforcement authorities. The family has a central role to play.

Parents must monitor what their children watch, who they associate with, where they spend their time and how they respond to pressure. More importantly, parents must create homes where children can speak openly about their fears, mistakes and struggles without immediately being condemned.

The Society Must Speak Up

The responsibility does not end with parents.

Teachers, neighbours, religious leaders, community organisations and responsible citizens all have roles to play. When harmful behaviour is noticed, society should not look away.

But speaking up must be accompanied by wisdom. The objective should not be to stigmatise young people struggling with substance use. It should be to protect them, hold enabling adults accountable and connect affected individuals with appropriate support and rehabilitation.

Our children are watching us.

They watch how we respond to wrongdoing. They watch what we tolerate. They watch what we celebrate and what we condemn. They watch whether our actions agree with our words.

If we tell them that substance abuse is dangerous but they see adults facilitating it, our words will mean little.

If we tell them to make responsible choices but repeatedly excuse irresponsible behaviour, we are teaching them a dangerous lesson.

The battle against substance abuse therefore begins at home.

Parents must become role models, not enablers; guardians, not silent observers; and disciplinarians with compassion, not sources of fear.

The time has come for every parent, guardian and community member to take responsibility for the environment in which our children are growing.

If you see something harmful, do not simply look away. Speak up. Seek help. Protect the child. Protect the community.

The future we want for our children will be determined, to a large extent, by what we teach them and, more importantly, by what we show them.