The Storm Inside: Living in the Mind of an Overthinker -By Bello Humulkhair Kikelomo

Have you ever replayed one small mistake in your head a hundred times as if thinking harder could somehow change the past? That is what it feels like to be an overthinker. Your mind becomes both a stage and an audience, replaying scenes, questioning motives, and writing endless “what ifs” that never seem to end. I never truly understood what it meant to live inside an overthinking mind until one ordinary afternoon in class turned into a storm I could not quiet.

When My Thoughts Turned Against Me

I remember the day I was caught making noise in class. It was not a big scene, yet it felt like the ground had opened beneath me. The lecturer, one who had always praised my efforts, looked straight at me and said, “Come and write your admission number.”

My heart started racing. My palms were sweaty as I picked up the pen. In that moment, two thoughts battled inside me:

“Maybe he is going to deduct marks from my test…”

“Or maybe from my exams.”

I tried to plead, but he insisted. I wrote it down, hands trembling. That was not just fear; it was the crushing weight of disappointment, the painful belief that I had let someone who once believed in me down.

That night in the hostel, my mind became a battlefield. What if he fails me? What if he gives me an E? What if he hates me now? What if my CGPA drops? The questions grew louder and darker, echoing over and over again until sleep became impossible.

The next day, I asked our course representative if I should go and beg. He smiled and said, “He has probably forgotten already. He just wanted to scare you.” My mind did not believe that. Every time he entered the class, I went silent, overly humble, trying not to exist too loudly.

Fast forward to exam day. I wrote the paper with fear still whispering in my ears. When the result came out, I saw a big A. For a moment, I could not breathe. The man I thought hated me had already forgiven me. The battle was never with him; it was with my own thoughts.

That is when I realized the truth: overthinking is not a sign of deep thought. It is a sign of mental imprisonment.

What Overthinking Really Is

Overthinking is not just thinking too much. It is replaying, reanalyzing, and rewriting events that have already happened or might never happen.

It often takes two major forms:

Rumination: dwelling on past mistakes or regrets. “Why did I say that?” “I should not have done that.”

Worry: predicting negative outcomes that have not occurred. “What if they judge me?” “What if I fail?”

At its root, overthinking grows from fear: fear of failure, rejection, or imperfection. Sometimes it comes from low self-esteem, when you believe others are better or more capable. Other times, it stems from painful experiences that your mind keeps replaying because it has not healed yet.

How It Affects the Mind and Life

Overthinking does not just stay in your head; it invades every part of your life. The longer it lingers, the more it reshapes how you think, act, and feel about yourself.

Here is what I have learned through experience and reflection:

-Difficulty making decisions:

You begin to doubt every choice, from the smallest to the biggest. Even after deciding, your mind revisits it, wondering if you should have done otherwise. You spend more time analyzing than living.

-Mental and emotional exhaustion:

It is like running a marathon inside your head with no finish line. Your brain keeps spinning around the same thought until you feel drained, distracted, and detached from reality.

-Insomnia and restlessness:

Nights become battlegrounds. You lie awake replaying scenes, constructing imaginary outcomes, and having conversations that never happened. Sleep becomes a stranger.

-Reduced productivity

Overthinking steals time from the present. Instead of working, you are worrying. Instead of focusing, you are floating between what was and what if. The mind gets busy, but nothing gets done.

-Self-doubt and low confidence:

The more you overanalyze, the less you trust yourself. You start to question even your strengths, fearing your decisions will always backfire.

-Emotional heaviness:

Every thought becomes a seed of fear. You feel anxious about things beyond your control, sad over things you cannot change, and guilty about moments long gone.

Strained relationships:

Overthinking what people meant by every word or action can weaken trust. You might pull away or misread intentions, creating distance where none was meant to exist.

Over time, these effects make even simple things, like attending class, meeting people, or trying something new, feel overwhelming. You begin living in survival mode instead of truly living.

Learning to Quiet the Storm

Overthinking may be human, but staying trapped in it is not healthy. Here are lessons I learned from experience:

-Ask yourself what you can control:

If you cannot control it, there is no reason to carry it. If my lecturer had decided to deduct marks, could I stop him? No. Then why lose peace over what is beyond me?

-Replace thoughts with actions:

Instead of thinking, “What if he is angry?” I could have simply walked up and apologized. Sometimes, one honest action ends a thousand thoughts.

-Talk to someone:

Silence strengthens anxiety. Sharing your fears with a friend, mentor, or therapist lightens the weight instantly.

-Engage your senses:

Take a quiet walk, listen to soft music, pray, or write down what is in your heart. Movement often brings clarity that stillness cannot. Sometimes, peace does not come from sitting still but from doing something gentle and grounding.

-Set limits for your thoughts:

Give yourself a time frame, say one hour, to think deeply about an issue. After that, let it go. It trains your mind to move forward instead of spiraling backward.

From Overthinking to Positive Thinking

After realizing how much time I had wasted worrying about things that never even happened, I decided to start training my mind differently. Overthinking focuses on what went wrong, while positive thinking focuses on what can go right.

Positive thinking does not mean ignoring reality or pretending everything is perfect. It means choosing to see challenges as lessons, not punishments. It means replacing fear with faith and self-blame with self-compassion.

Now, whenever I notice my thoughts running wild, I pause and remind myself:

“You have been here before. You overthought and still ended up fine.”

Instead of imagining the worst, I choose to picture the best, not because it is guaranteed, but because it gives me peace. Instead of saying, “What if it does not work?” I ask, “What if it does?”

I also celebrate small wins and remind myself that not every silence means hatred, and not every mistake ruins everything. Sometimes, people simply move on, and we should too. When we choose positive thinking, our minds become lighter, our confidence grows, and we begin to see life from a balanced perspective.

Final Reflection

Overthinking keeps us trapped in a cycle of fear and regret, but positive thinking helps us move forward with hope and courage. The mind will always think; it is what it is made for, but we can decide what kind of thoughts we feed it.

I am still learning, but I have realized something simple yet powerful:

“Peace does not come from having a perfect life; it comes from having a peaceful mind.”

Sometimes, the loudest storms we face are the ones we create within, and the bravest thing we can do is learn to quiet them.