Online vs Reality: The Dark Side of Living a Fake Life –By Matthew Ma

In modern digital Nigeria, a gap exists between how individuals present themselves online and their actual lived experiences and identities. Social media platforms have become spaces where many people showcase a carefully crafted version of their lives, often highlighting success, luxury, and social status. This online façade frequently digresses from the challenges of real life, which may include issues such as financial difficulties, social inequality, and personal struggles. As a result, this phenomenon not only affects personal interactions but also shapes public perception and societal expectations. The pressure to conform to these idealized representations can lead to feelings of inadequacy and the belief that one’s true, often less glamorous, life is somehow less valuable. The gap between virtual identity and real-life experience continues to widen, prompting discussions about authenticity, mental health, and the impact of social media on self-esteem and community dynamics in Nigeria.

A closer examination of social media activities today shows a concerning trend: a significant number of individuals are living a life that is largely fabricated. Many users present an idealized version of their lives, often highlighting only the most glamorous moments while hiding the challenges and mundane realities of their lives. This selective sharing creates a skewed perception of reality, where followers are led to believe that these perfectly crafted images and stories reflect their peers’ actual lives. For example, when searching the names of Nigerians known for living a fake lifestyle, Hushpuppi (Ramon Olorunwa Abbas) often comes to mind as a prime example. According to Wikipedia, Hushpuppi cultivated an image of opulence, presenting himself as a real estate mogul. However, he was ultimately convicted of large-scale fraud and money laundering. Investigations revealed that his lavish lifestyle was, in part, funded through illegal activities. The next name that comes to mind is Sheggz, who gained fame as a former contestant on the reality television show Big Brother Naija. Recently, Torizone Nigeria leveled accusations against him, suggesting that he has significantly overstated his financial status by proudly claiming ownership of several opulent properties and showcasing a lifestyle that is characterized by extravagance and luxury. However, other reports have surfaced that indicate Sheggz may have previously depended on financial assistance from others, raising questions about the authenticity of his alleged wealth and the sources sustaining his seemingly affluent lifestyle. 

Next on the line is Ka3na, who gained fame as a participant in Big Brother Naija. Recent reports from Torinews online have raised concerns about her portrayal of financial success. Allegations suggest that she has misled her followers by presenting herself as a multimillionaire, despite reportedly negotiating relatively low fees for fundamental services, including photo editing. Pastor Tobi Adegboyega has had his dose of allegations. Recently, he was accused of manipulating his social media presence to project an exaggerated image of wealth. According to Legit.ng, he utilized advanced artificial intelligence and video editing techniques to create misleading visuals, which included realistic portrayals of luxury items and bodyguards that were not actually part of his reality. Additionally, he was accused of staging his videos to create the illusion of a more opulent lifestyle than he genuinely leads. Sapphire Egemasi has also come under scrutiny for allegedly leading a fabricated lifestyle. An online publication, NewsKobo, accused her of not only flaunting a life of luxury but also misrepresenting her professional background to have experience with several high-profile companies. According to reports, the Nigerian software developer (dubbed he “tech queen”) now faces serious legal challenges. Reports indicate that she has been arrested by the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and is entangled in a sprawling cyber fraud and money laundering operation based in the United States. If convicted, Sapphire could face a lengthy prison sentence, potentially exceeding twenty years.

Nkechi Blessing Sunday has also found herself in the spotlight of controversies. The first incident that raised eyebrows occurred when she posted images showcasing a luxury Mercedes-Benz, specifically a model commonly referred to as a GLK, which she portrayed as her own vehicle. However, it soon came to light that this glamorous car was not truly hers; reports suggested that it was either borrowed or still in the process of being negotiated, rather than being a part of her actual assets. Following the backlash of this revelation, Nkechi took to her platforms to address the situation. She subsequently removed the posts featuring the car and issued clarifications to her followers regarding the misleading portrayal of the vehicle. In a more recent development, social media users managed to uncover unedited photographs of Nkechi during a gym session. These images presented a striking contrast to the heavily filtered and edited photos she typically shares, as they depicted her appearing somewhat chubby. This discrepancy between her real appearance and her curated online image led to further discussions about authenticity, as followers voiced their thoughts on how she appear plump in the gym but slimmer online.  

The allegations surrounding these individuals originate from various sources, including social media platforms, paparazzi reports, or commentary from critics. It is essential to recognize that not all of these claims have been validated through legal proceedings. Therefore, when discussing these influencers, it is crucial to clarify whether the situation involving them is a mere accusation, an ongoing investigation, or an actual conviction. This distinction is vital, as the weight of these claims can significantly influence public perception, even if they remain unproven. The implications of these allegations underscore both the influence and the risks associated with fame in the age of social media, where public opinion can shift rapidly and effortlessly. This raises several important questions: Why do so many influencers choose to live the life of deception? What benefits do they derive from such a lifestyle? 

Many influencers prioritize deception over authenticity due to a complex interplay of psychological, social, and economic pressures. Primarily, they aim to maintain relevance in an increasingly competitive social media landscape. With countless creators vying for attention, influencers often feel compelled to project an image of greater wealth, success, or affluence than they genuinely possess to keep their followers engaged. Brands are frequently drawn to influencers who embody a sense of success and achievement. A lavish lifestyle enhances an influencer’s marketability, making them more attractive to potential endorsers, sponsors, and collaborators. On platforms like Instagram and TikTok, the influence of comparison looms large. Many influencers choose to fabricate their lifestyles to keep pace with peers flaunting exotic trips, designer wardrobes, and impressive vehicles—whether these portrayals are real or staged. The immediate gratification of likes, comments, and shares can drive some influencers to mislead their audiences, as the façade of a perfect life often bolsters their self-esteem, despite its disconnect from reality. Ironically, audiences tend to reward drama, ostentatious displays of luxury, and exaggerated success more than they appreciate authenticity. In response, influencers often provide content that aligns with what they believe viewers desire. Some genuinely convince themselves that by feigning a wealthy lifestyle, they will ultimately attract real opportunities and prosperity—a precarious bet that can ensnare them in a cycle of deception.

What are the repercussions of maintaining a fabricated existence for both influencers and their followers? The consequences of presenting a fabricated life on social media are profound, impacting both influencers and their followers in equally detrimental ways. For influencers, maintaining this façade can be exhausting. The constant effort to create illusions often leads to stress, anxiety, and the persistent fear of being “exposed.” Some influencers experience imposter syndrome, questioning their worthiness of the attention they receive. To uphold this illusion, they may resort to taking loans, renting luxury cars, or borrowing designer outfits, often plunging themselves into debt to “keep up appearances.” Once their deception is revealed, their careers can collapse almost instantly, with brands withdrawing support, followers unfollowing, and trust dissipating. As they fake their lives, forming authentic friendships and relationships becomes increasingly challenging, as their “true self” remains veiled. On the other hand, Many followers equate success with instant wealth, luxury, and endless enjoyment. When reality fails to align with these expectations, it can lead to frustration and a diminished sense of self-worth. The constant comparison to curated, often unrealistic lives fosters anxiety, depression, and a sense of failure, particularly among young people. In the pursuit of keeping up with influencers, some followers may overspend on luxury items, accrue debt, or make unwise financial decisions. Rather than appreciating hard work, humility, and authenticity, society increasingly venerates image, status, and superficial appearances.

Today, social media serves as the largest platform for fake life. What began as innocuous entertainment has now devolved into a frantic quest for attention, where dignity frequently becomes the first casualty. This “naked chase for clout” transcends mere fashion choices or expressions of freedom; it serves as a calculated strategy to leverage the shock value that social media algorithms favor. Likes, shares, and views have replaced authenticity, leading many creators down a precarious path where their self-worth becomes intimately linked to ephemeral engagement metrics. However, beneath the captivating allure of viral fame lies a harsh reality. Many influencers willingly reveal their bodies for financial gain in content creation. What they often overlook is that young audiences are watching and may mimic their behaviors without fully grasping the consequences. This trend, particularly for women, exacerbates an already toxic environment that commodifies their bodies, leading to lasting feelings of shame, regret, and, in some cases, exploitation. The consequences are extensive and profound. Online platforms have become arenas of moral degradation, where cyberbullying, blackmail, and revenge porn thrive amidst these reckless behaviors. Even more concerning is the erosion of society’s collective standards, which leaves a generation to believe that superficiality and a fleeting thrill can overshadow genuine talent and substance. This prompts a vital question: who genuinely benefits from such spectacles? Certainly not the creators, who often suffer lasting damage to their reputations, nor the audience, who become desensitized to genuine content. The actual beneficiaries are the tech platforms that profit from engagement—regardless of its negative impact.

Once upon a time, marital issues were addressed with dignity—discussed quietly behind closed doors, often with the guidance of elders, trusted counselors, or faith leaders. Today, however, a concerning trend is emerging in Nigeria and beyond: self-proclaimed social media “marriage counselors” who dispense advice with little thought, often causing more harm than good. On platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube, influencers lacking professional training are eager to define what constitutes a “real man” or a “good wife.” These self-styled experts capitalize on catchy sound bites, sensationalism, and oversimplified stereotypes, offering quick fixes to deeply intricate marital challenges. The outcome? Increased confusion, suspicion, and breakups rather than genuine healing. Compounding the issue, many of these influencers thrive on controversy. For instance, a content creator who has never been married may advise married individuals to leave their partners in the event of infidelity, all while being involved in a relationship with a married man. The more outrageous their advice, the greater their engagement. Yet, while likes and views contribute to their financial success, families bear the brunt of the fallout. Before long, homes crumble—not necessarily due to the initial issues, but because of the toxic narratives that have been sown online. While I firmly believe that cheating is wholly unacceptable and should never be justified or overlooked, I find it profoundly hypocritical for someone to urge another to leave their spouse due to infidelity while simultaneously engaging in a romantic relationship with a married person. This duality is simply unacceptable. Marriage is not a trending topic; it is a sacred union that demands patience, understanding, and mutual sacrifice—all of which cannot be encapsulated in a 60-second video. Authentic counseling requires training, discretion, and empathy, not attention-grabbing titles and monetized disputes.

Social media was initially envisioned as a platform to foster connections, ignite inspiration, and amplify the voices of everyday individuals. However, when it devolves into a mere stage for superficial displays, it transforms from a tool of empowerment into a battleground of illusion and deceit. The lesson we must take to heart is straightforward: followers need to cultivate the ability to differentiate between what is real and what is merely a curated façade. The glamorous images of flashy cars and lavish vacations that flood our screens do not necessarily represent the genuine experiences of those who share them. In fact, the true essence of luxury lies in living within one’s means, achieving success through hard work and authenticity, and ultimately finding contentment and peace of mind without the burden of maintaining an illusion. Until influencers prioritize honesty and transparency in their representations, and audiences shift their admiration from superficial allurements to genuine accomplishments, Nigeria—and indeed, many parts of the world—will grapple with a generation that is increasingly enamored with fantasy yet remains painfully detached from reality. 

To combat the widespread impact of a distorted reality, especially as depicted on social media platforms, it is crucial to foster personal discipline alongside a heightened sense of collective awareness. First and foremost, it is crucial to cultivate a habit of questioning the authenticity of what we encounter online. The mantra “not everything that glitters is gold” rings particularly true in the world of social media. We need to educate ourselves and, importantly, the younger generations, about the fact that social media often presents a distorted view of reality—one that is frequently staged, heavily edited, and exaggerated for effect. Secondly, rather than falling into the trap of comparing our own lives to the seemingly perfect lifestyles of influencers, we should focus on setting personal goals that resonate with our values and aspirations. Whether those goals pertain to our careers, family dynamics, spiritual beliefs, or entrepreneurial ventures, it is vital to measure our success against our own personal benchmarks. True fulfillment arises from personal growth, rather than from the transient gratification of likes and follower counts.

Third, we must embrace a lifestyle that acknowledges and respects our inherent limitations. We should consciously work to distance ourselves from artificial standards that are often perpetuated by social media and influencers. These fabricated images of wealth and success can be particularly seductive, but falling into the traps of debt, deceit, or taking unethical shortcuts in an attempt to emulate these influencers can lead to significant repercussions, both financially and emotionally. Content creators might present a façade of affluence, showcasing luxurious possessions and extravagant lifestyles that are often unattainable for the average person. However, instead of chasing after these illusions, we should prioritize building genuine and enduring stability for ourselves and our families. This means focusing on sustainable financial practices, fostering genuine connections, and making wise choices that reflect our authentic values and circumstances. 

Fourth, it is essential to acknowledge that while some content creators present curated and often misleading versions of their lives, many others are committed to sharing authentic experiences that resonate on a deeper level. These creators offer relatable stories that reflect the ups and downs of everyday life, fostering genuine connections with their audience. By actively supporting those who prioritize honesty and transparency in their content, we can cultivate a community that values authenticity over illusion. This means taking the time to follow, like, and amplify the voices of creators who choose to reveal their true selves rather than sell a fabricated image of themselves. 

Faking one’s life may garner temporary applause and fleeting admiration, but it is authenticity that ultimately leads to lasting peace and fulfillment. When individuals engage in the act of pretending—whether on social media platforms, among their peers, or even in their personal relationships—they are often seeking validation from others rather than embracing their own truths. This behavior can create a façade that misrepresents who they truly are, leading to a disconnect between their genuine selves and the personas they showcase. Being true to ourselves involves a commitment to living within our means, regardless of how modest that may seem to society. It means placing a higher value on integrity and authenticity over the allure of popularity. It encourages us to pursue real accomplishments that reflect our hard work and passion, rather than striving for superficial accolades that are often staged or exaggerated. It is essential to recognize that the connections we cherish—whether with friends, family, or community—are rooted in acceptance and love for who we genuinely are, not for the curated images we project to the world.

We must remind ourselves that when the spotlight fades and the temporary accolades disappear, reality remains steadfast. It is far more rewarding to cultivate a life grounded in truth, even if it appears unconventional or straightforward, than to pursue an illusion that ultimately leaves us feeling hollow and unfulfilled. Authenticity brings with it a sense of freedom and empowerment; in contrast, the act of faking one’s life can feel like a form of enslavement, trapping us in a cycle of discontent and anxiety. Striving for authenticity not only enriches our own lives but also fosters deeper, more meaningful relationships with those around us. Authenticity is freedom; faking life is slavery.

Rev. Ma, S. J., is a Jesuit Catholic priest of the North West Africa Province of the Society of Jesus. He currently writes from Abuja, Nigeria.