MARRIAGE: What Should be our Greatest Fear, by Alakoso Ahmad Ibrahim

Life will never be interesting unless everything therein is bonded with love. It is universal that one of the sources of love is marriage.

While marriage is an entity that brings two parties together to become husband and wife, it can also make them worst enemies. A wrong choice of spouse is tantamount to using atomic bomb, it can ruin everything you have built, including your personality.

It would be perfect to say that today, marriage has done more harm than good. If we have ever tried to look at it critically, we would see that the rate at which couples divorce is now outweighing that at which marriage happens. Stories have told us that divorce rarely occurred during the olden era, but in this generation, it has become the subject of the day. Have we asked ourselves why it happens so?

What the elders usually say should be clear to us now. They would never stop saying “marry not a wife for yourself but a mother for your children, and marry not a husband for yourself but a father for your children”. Of this generation, many individuals fall victims of marrying partners for themselves, and not parents for their children. So far, the cause that has been identified is appreciation of looks rather than qualities. Marriage is beyond just looks! Everybody likes better things, that is nature for us. However, while going after better things, we should not forget that best things also exist. In our selection of spouses, thorough scrutiny should be performed so we would not end up living a life of regret. It is undisputed that thousands of couples are living a life they have never wished for. Therefore, to escape such a regretful life, it is advised that we look out for qualities such as good background, religiousness,, non-violence, readiness, strength (physical, mental, emotional and financial), responsibility and responsiveness.

The number one attribute we should always go for is good background. The kind of home a person is from should be considered so as to avoid settling with a mannerless spouse. Some people were raised in homes of no offense, nobody takes them for doing wrong things neither does anybody calls their attention to correct them. One thing common to these individuals is that they always believe they are right, and even when they are wrong, they will never agree they are. No matter what the situation is, they shouldn’t be an option for you to marry. Divorce is usually what happens in the end when that kind of partner is chosen. It should also be noted that building parenthood with a person from that sect is detrimental to your children, they will learn nothing except being stubborn. And a high percentage of them end up growing wayward after their parents have parted ways. Do you want your offspring to be wayward?

What about religiousness? A God-fearing man would not only be a blessing to you only but also your children. He would always be respectful to you and your people (family). Not only that, he would also be worthy of emulation by your children. Strength should not be overlooked as it most times tells how long a marriage would survive. A man needs to be strong physically, mentally, emotionally and financially to be able to meet the demands of his family. A woman should also have these qualities, but financial strength is not a must.

Your partner’s readiness is another thing you should make sure you assess. As known, marriage is full of challenges. Your spouse should be ready to face any challenge that comes with marriage. She should be willing to accept and forgive your flaws. She should always be available to take care of the children,, no other person would do it more perfectly than her. As a man, there should not be any problem with your wife being a working class woman once she is able to play motherly roles for your children.

Your spouse should be the responsible and responsive one, do not forget. Try to understand all the aforementioned factors, and your home would be peaceful.

Again, you must hold these tight: 

– Marriage is beyond just looks, a mere look is nothing!

– Don’t rush into marriage because you see people doing it, you might rush out back (divorce).

– Don’t take marriage with levity, it should be your greatest fear.

– Thorough scrutiny should be done before choosing, don’t be too quick.

– Make sure you also have all the good attributes you want in your spouse, respect is reciprocal.

– after marriage, always ensure that you work on yourself every moment so your partner can respect you more.