Forgotten Dairies
The Forgotten Victims: Why Nigeria Must Take The Abuse Of Male Children Seriously -By Uhunmwangho Eric Osayi
While many people may point to culture, weak reporting systems or social media as the cause of this problem, I believe responsibility belongs to everyone. Parents, teachers, religious leaders, the media, government institutions and ordinary citizens all have a role to play. We cannot continue shifting responsibility from one group to another while children continue to suffer in silence.
Every time the issue of child abuse is discussed in Nigeria, the attention rightly turns to protecting the girl child. Campaigns are launched, awareness is created, and justice is demanded. This is a positive development that should continue. However, while society focuses on one side of the conversation, another group of victims is too often left in the shadows: the male child. In my opinion, every child deserves equal protection, regardless of gender.
My interest in this issue was sparked by something I repeatedly noticed on social media. On platforms like TikTok, I have come across comments from men who shared that they were sexually abused as children. Instead of receiving sympathy or encouragement to seek justice, many were met with insensitive responses such as, “Didn’t you enjoy it?” Reading such comments made me wonder why society finds it easier to dismiss the pain of boys than to acknowledge it.
I believe one of the biggest reasons this happens is because many people expect boys to simply endure whatever life throws at them. There is an unspoken belief that as long as a boy survives, he should move on without complaining. This mindset is dangerous because surviving abuse does not erase the emotional and psychological scars it leaves behind. Trauma does not discriminate between boys and girls.
What concerns me even more is that these attitudes discourage male victims from speaking out. If a boy grows up believing that no one will take him seriously or that people will laugh at his experience, he is more likely to remain silent. That silence should never be mistaken for the absence of abuse. Sometimes, it simply reflects the fear of not being believed.
I also believe we should stop comparing victims as though we are keeping score. Whether one boy or five girls are abused should not determine how much attention a case receives. These are not statistics competing for public sympathy. They are human beings carrying painful memories that may affect them for the rest of their lives. Every victim deserves to be heard, protected and treated with dignity.
When it comes to justice, there should be no distinction between male and female victims. Anyone who sexually abuses a boy should face the same punishment as someone who sexually abuses a girl because the offence is the same. Justice should be based on the crime that was committed, not on the gender of the child who suffered it.
I also believe prevention should begin at an early age. Schools should teach age-appropriate personal safety education to both boys and girls from nursery level. Just as children learn simple nursery rhymes, they should also learn that their bodies belong to them and that no one has the right to touch them inappropriately. Parents also have a responsibility to build trusting relationships with their children so they feel safe discussing anything without fear or shame. The media can reinforce these lessons through educational programmes, poems, animations and public awareness campaigns that reach children and families alike.
While many people may point to culture, weak reporting systems or social media as the cause of this problem, I believe responsibility belongs to everyone. Parents, teachers, religious leaders, the media, government institutions and ordinary citizens all have a role to play. We cannot continue shifting responsibility from one group to another while children continue to suffer in silence.
At the end of the day, abuse is abuse. Whether the victim is a boy or a girl, the pain is real and should never be taken for granted. If we ignore the abuse of male children today, we risk allowing a dangerous culture of silence to become normal for future generations, just as other harmful attitudes have gradually become accepted over time. Protecting boys does not weaken the fight to protect girls; it strengthens our commitment to protecting every Nigerian child. That is the society we should all strive to build.
UHUNMWANGHO ERIC OSAYI is a writer and commentator with an interest in social issues, youth development and public policy. He writes opinion articles that encourage critical thinking and meaningful conversations on issues affecting Nigerian society.
