The Pressure On Men To Always Provide Is Becoming Dangerous -By Faith Ogbotor

For generations, men have been viewed as the primary providers in families and relationships. From childhood, many boys are taught that becoming a “real man” means being able to provide financially for their loved ones. While responsibility remains an important aspect of adulthood, many believe the growing pressure on men to always provide is taking a toll on their emotional, mental, and physical well-being.

The expectation that men should provide financially is deeply rooted in culture, religion, and tradition. Historically, men had greater access to employment, land ownership, and economic opportunities, while women were largely responsible for domestic duties and childcare. As a result, society came to view men as breadwinners and women as dependents. Although times have changed and more women now participate in the workforce, many of these expectations remain.

For some men, providing for their families is not seen as pressure but as a responsibility that comes with adulthood.

Mr. Moses, a site labourer and father of four, believes providing for his family is simply part of his duty as a husband and father.

“I don’t think it’s pressure but rather a responsibility I must carry out,” he said.

According to him, being the head of the family naturally comes with financial obligations. Although he admitted that there are times when people judge men who fail to meet expectations, he sees such experiences as part of life.

“It has shaped me into becoming a real man. When I was single, I only thought about myself, but now I have to think about my family too,” he added.

However, not all men have the same experience.

For Mr. Ebuka, a tricycle rider and single father of two, carrying financial responsibilities alone can be exhausting.

“It has been difficult, I won’t lie,” he said. “When I had a partner, there was someone who could step up on days I didn’t have. Now I have to provide every single thing.”

Although he sees providing as a responsibility, he admitted that the burden often pushes him beyond his physical limits.

“I do different jobs just to make ends meet. Sometimes I sleep with body aches, but when I see my kids, I smile.”

He believes support systems such as free education and improved security would ease the burden on fathers raising children alone.

The pressure to provide is not limited to fathers. Many young men also feel the weight of societal expectations long before they get married.

Chidera Eze, a 200-level Broadcasting and Media Studies student, said young men already feel pressure to become providers.

“It comes from culture, tradition, and societal beliefs about men’s roles,” he explained.

According to him, while these expectations can motivate young men to work harder, they can also become stressful.

He noted that some young men engage in risky activities because of the desire to make money quickly and meet societal expectations.

Similarly, Okafor John, a teacher at a private secondary school, believes society places enormous pressure on men by setting unrealistic standards of success.

“If you’re not up to that standard yet, it feels like you’re not doing anything,” he said.

John also pointed to social media as a major contributor to the problem.

“Social media increases the pressure because that’s where comparison comes from,” he added.

He believes society should understand that success comes at different times for different people and should stop looking down on those who are still struggling financially.

While many men acknowledge the pressure they face, opinions among women remain divided.

One female student who requested anonymity said she believes men should remain the primary providers in relationships.

“It’s their responsibility,” she said.

According to her, many women still depend on men financially because men are expected to provide while women assist where necessary.

However, she acknowledged that such expectations place a heavy burden on men.

“They try to provide for everyone—their family, spouse, and many others. Being a man is difficult,” she said.

Another student, Francisca Unutame, a 200-level Journalism and Media Studies student, traced the expectation to both religion and upbringing.

She explained that she was raised to believe men are providers but does not support complete financial dependence on men.

“I was trained to work for my own money. I don’t expect a man to provide everything because he has his own life to live as well,” she said.

Francisca recalled the experience of a woman who depended entirely on her husband financially and struggled after his death because she had no personal source of income.

She believes relationships should be based on partnership and mutual support.

“If the man has more, he can contribute more, but if the woman has more, responsibilities can be shared equally,” she said.

She also noted that she has witnessed men struggle under financial pressure, particularly those carrying family responsibilities as first sons.

The experiences shared by both men and women reveal a common reality: financial expectations continue to shape how society views masculinity. Unfortunately, when a man’s worth becomes tied solely to his ability to provide, many suffer in silence.

Some men work beyond their physical limits, while others battle anxiety, frustration, and feelings of inadequacy. In extreme cases, the desire to meet society’s expectations can push individuals toward dishonest or dangerous means of making money.

To reduce this pressure, society must recognize that men are human beings with limits. Families, partners, and communities should appreciate effort rather than measuring a man’s value solely by his financial capacity. Women should be encouraged to pursue financial independence while relationships embrace shared responsibility and mutual support.

There is also a need for greater economic opportunities, job creation, and financial education to help young people build stable futures without unnecessary pressure.

Providing for loved ones is a noble responsibility, but it should not become a burden that destroys the people expected to carry it. As society evolves, there must be room for understanding, empathy, and shared responsibility, ensuring that men are valued not only for what they can provide but also for who they are.

Ogbotor Faith is a 200 level journalism and media studies student of Delta State University Abraka