A Father’s Complaint: Today Is Father’s Day, But We Don’t Receive Wishes Like Mothers Do -By Isaac Asabor

Every third Sunday in June, the world celebrates Father’s Day, a date meant to appreciate fathers and father figures who have played crucial roles in shaping families, societies, and nations. But for many fathers, especially in Nigeria and much of Africa, the celebration feels like a quiet whisper compared to the thunderous cheers that greet Mother’s Day (often celebrated more than once a year). As a father myself, and echoing the sentiments of countless other fathers, I cannot help but ask: Why is Father’s Day treated like a formality, almost as if it is just something to tick off the calendar? Are you asking if I am jealous, yes I am.

The truth is bitter but must be said: We do not receive wishes like mothers do. The imbalance in emotional and societal recognition between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day is not just anecdotal, it is real, visible, and, quite frankly, disrespectful to the role many fathers play. From social media platforms to church announcements, school activities, media shoutouts, and even family celebrations, Father’s Day is often a shadow of Mother’s Day. It is either forgotten, downplayed, or given a lukewarm mention. Yet, we, the fathers, keep showing up, sacrificing, and shouldering responsibilities. As you read this piece, I may be in the field or office as a Journalist, and sometimes sleeping in the office to meet story deadline.

The world has long held a romanticized view of motherhood. Rightfully so, mothers are nurturers, caregivers, and often the emotional backbone of families. But in that glorification, fatherhood has been diminished, wrongly interpreted in many contexts as being less emotionally involved, more financially driven, and therefore undeserving of effusive appreciation.

Let us be clear, fatherhood is not just about bringing money home. It is about being a protector, disciplinarian, teacher, role model, and emotional anchor. In fact, many fathers today are not only providers but also active caregivers, changing diapers, cooking, attending PTA meetings, and staying up late to help with homework. Yet when the time comes to say “thank you,” society’s response is cold and perfunctory.

On Mother’s Day, the world stands still. Songs are composed, radio and TV hosts wax lyrical, churches offer gifts, restaurants are booked solid, flower vendors make a killing, and social media turns into a digital poetry contest filled with lengthy tributes to mothers. Compare that with Father’s Day: a few memes, recycled posts, some “shoutouts to the real dads,” and that is it. No thunder. No fireworks. Just silence, and maybe a reluctant tie or mug as a gift.

Part of this disparity stems from cultural expectations. In many African homes, the father is the strong, silent figure who “just does what he’s supposed to do.” Because society expects fathers to be emotionally stoic and absorb life’s punches without complaint, it rarely pauses to ask, “How are you holding up?”

The problem with this image is that it denies fathers their humanity. It assumes we are devoid of emotional needs or appreciation. Fathers too want to be affirmed, celebrated, and recognized, not for ego, but for the reassurance that our sacrifices mean something. We want to hear “thank you” without having to die first to receive eulogies.

Worse still, single fathers or those who are co-parenting often receive even less acknowledgment. It is as if the absence of a mother in the child’s daily life automatically disqualifies the father from any emotional credibility. In fact, many men who singlehandedly raise children never hear their praises sung the way single mothers do. The narrative seems to be that a man should be able to handle it. But who says the father does not want or need help, love, and gratitude?

Another factor fueling this imbalance is media portrayal. Fathers are often cast in comical or distant roles in films and advertisements, either as clueless dads, absentee breadwinners, or strict figures to be feared. Rarely do we see portrayals of loving, vulnerable, hands-on fathers, especially in African settings.

Worse, when fathers are present, the tone is often sarcastic or humorous, not celebratory. The lack of powerful fatherhood narratives in our media reinforces a subtle idea that fathers are supporting actors in the family story, while mothers are the protagonists.

This harmful stereotype needs dismantling. Real life is more complex, and fatherhood, like motherhood, comes with its own burdens, traumas, joys, and lessons. Every child deserves a loving father, and every father who shows up should be celebrated, not forgotten.

The burden of correcting this imbalance does not lie solely with society, it also lies with fathers themselves. Fathers must become active in shaping their own narrative.

Firstly, we must be vocal. Fathers should no longer be afraid to speak up about the need for emotional appreciation. Share your stories just as this writer is doing at the moment. Let the world know what it takes to be a present, committed father. Too many good fathers are invisible because they do not think it is “manly” to demand acknowledgment. But the truth is, visibility invites recognition.

Fathers should also invest in building emotional bonds with their children and families. Being present emotionally, not just financially, creates a memory bank that children can draw from when it’s time to celebrate. A father who is fully present will naturally be cherished and remembered.

We also need more organized fatherhood networks and events. Just as there are endless conferences and associations dedicated to motherhood, fathers need safe spaces to gather, share, and uplift one another.

At this juncture, it is germane to ask, “What Role Can Social Media Play in This?” Social media is a powerful tool that shapes public perception. During Mother’s Day, we see beautiful, tear-jerking posts that go viral. Why not the same for fathers?

Fathers and their supporters should use social media more intentionally. Write posts about your parenting journey, share photos, give advice, and celebrate other dads. Influence public consciousness by showing the multifaceted role of a father.

Social media influencers and celebrities can also play a pivotal role. A single high-profile endorsement of Father’s Day can spark a chain reaction. Brands should equally be held accountable to produce balanced campaigns. If they can run lavish ads for Mother’s Day, they can do the same for Father’s Day.

Can Schools Be Involved More? Absolutely. Schools are vital in shaping early perceptions of parental roles. Unfortunately, many schools make a spectacle of Mother’s Day with rehearsals, costume days, poems, and drama sketches, while Father’s Day is either skipped or treated with minimal interest.

Against the foregoing unappreciative backdrop been given to fathers, despite being hardworking, loving and caring, it is germane to suggest in this context that it is reciprocal we begin to host annual Father’s Day events, just like Mother’s Day by Inviting fathers to school for open days, career talks, sports, and storytelling.

In a similar vein, it is expedient we assign classroom projects that encourage children to reflect on what they love about their fathers, which will foster appreciation from an early age, even as it is germane to train teachers to recognize and celebrate fatherly roles with equal weight. Education should not be biased toward maternal figures alone.

Again, it is also germane to introduce “Fathers and Kids” days just like “Mother-Daughter” or “Mother-Son” events. Let fathers be part of the emotional, social, and academic world of their children.

This article may have started as a complaint, but it is really a call. A call to spouses, children, institutions, and society at large: Wake up! Fatherhood matters, and fathers deserve more than a passing mention once a year. They deserve fanfare, poems, hugs, breakfast in bed, and a thousand “thank yous.”

We are not seeking to steal the spotlight from mothers, we honor them always, but we are asking that the light be big enough to shine on fathers too.

So to every father reading this today, whether biological, adoptive, foster, or father figure, Happy Father’s Day. Even if you did not get a card, a call, or a post, know this: Your efforts matter. You matter. And today, you deserve the world’s loudest applause. Let it ring louder than ever before.