Forgotten Dairies
Adversity Does Not Break You, It Reveals You And Reveals Them: A Lesson From El-Rufai’s Letter -By Abdulfatha Adam
To everyone going through hardship after sacrificing for others don’t regret your goodness. Your conscience is your true certificate. Posterity will deliver its verdict.
I for one genuinely like Mallam Nasiru El-Rufa’is approach to governance. But honestly, in certain moments I don’t think he has what you would call good human relations or empathy. His neoliberal tendencies sometimes made him look down on people, especially when he was in power.
Yet, life has a strange way of teaching us. When you are up, everybody is your friend. When you are down, you count them.
Former Governor of Kaduna State, Mallam Nasir El-Rufai, captured this reality perfectly in his personal letter titled “My Relationships and the Aftermath.”
El-Rufai, who has been facing trials and detention since February 2026, said he has noticed the silence of some colleagues, friends and family members he once stood by publicly at great personal cost.
On a saner note, his words hit home “Adversity has a way of illuminating relationships.”
He wrote that over the years, he stood by people and for causes he believed in, sometimes in difficult circumstances and at considerable personal cost, not in expectation of praise, gratitude or reciprocity, but because he believed it was right.
And now that the table has turned, he said those he supported are free to make their own choices. Some may speak, others may remain silent. Others may even deny the relationship or try rewriting history.
That is exactly how life gives back to you. I have seen this in my own accelerated journey and It hurts, but it teaches.
El-Rufai said something I have now adopted as my principle: He bears no resentment, no grudge and seeks no revenge. He said he does not wish to judge them merely because their response differs from what others might have expected.
Methinks that is maturity. Because true friendship is not transactional. If you helped people only to get help back, you were doing business, not friendship.
However, Hausa adages says” Zuciya na son mai kyautata masa” So i do not condemn those who choose the aforesaid reciprocal relationship, everyone has their reasons and beliefs given it a human face.
My points is simple, Adversity filters the crowd. It shows you who claps when you win and who stands when you fall. It shows you who loves your position and who loves your person.
El-Rufai said what he has learnt may lead him to quietly and without regret reconsider the nature of certain relationships. I agree completely. You don’t fight them, you just see them more clearly and adjust your circle.
In the end, we must live with our choices and leave judgment to Almighty Allah, as El-Rufai rightly noted.
To everyone going through hardship after sacrificing for others don’t regret your goodness. Your conscience is your true certificate. Posterity will deliver its verdict.
Life Trials don’t break a man, they unveil who he is and unveil who they truly are.
Abdulfatha Adam writes from Suleja
