Between the Classroom and the Kitchen: The Struggles of Married Women in University -By Mary Ishaya

For some women, getting married does not mean giving up on their dreams of becoming graduates. Instead, it means carrying a new set of responsibilities while still trying to succeed academically. A married woman in the university may attend lectures in the morning, rush home to prepare food, take care of her children and household, and still stay awake at night to complete an assignment. But how much can one person carry and still be expected to perform like everyone else?

One of the biggest challenges married women face in university is balancing academic work with family responsibilities. Unlike many unmarried students who may have more freedom to concentrate on their studies, married students often have responsibilities waiting for them outside the classroom. Cooking, cleaning, caring for children and attending to family needs can reduce the time available for reading and assignments. Research on student parents has consistently shown that combining education with family responsibilities can create significant time pressure and stress.

The situation becomes even more difficult when a woman has young children. A child does not understand that mummy has an examination tomorrow or an assignment due in the morning. The child may need attention at the exact moment she is trying to study. Sometimes, a mother may have to miss a lecture because her child is sick or because there is no one available to provide care. Isn’t it difficult to concentrate on a lecture when part of your mind is at home worrying about your child?

Financial pressure is another struggle. University education comes with expenses such as school fees, transportation, textbooks, data, accommodation and other academic materials. At the same time, a married woman may also have household expenses to consider. For those who are not financially independent, depending on a spouse or family member for educational support can sometimes make the situation more complicated. Evidence from research on student parents shows that financial difficulties are among the factors that can make completing higher education more challenging.

Furthermore, some married women experience pressure from society. There are still people who believe that a woman’s major responsibility after marriage should be her home, rather than her education or career. When a married woman spends long hours in the university, attends group meetings or studies late, some people may question her priorities. Yet education can benefit the entire family. A better-educated mother may have greater opportunities to contribute to household income, support her children academically and participate meaningfully in society.

Another challenge is the lack of adequate support. A married student may need someone to help care for her children while she attends lectures or writes examinations. Unfortunately, not every university has facilities such as affordable childcare, flexible learning arrangements or adequate counselling services for student parents. The absence of such support can make university life unnecessarily difficult. If universities know that some of their students are parents, shouldn’t their policies also consider the realities of those students?

Despite these challenges, many married women continue to demonstrate remarkable determination. They attend lectures, write examinations, complete projects and meet family responsibilities at the same time. Their experiences show that marriage does not automatically end a woman’s academic ambitions. In fact, studies on student mothers have found that many develop strong time-management, organisational and problem-solving skills because they have to manage several responsibilities at once.

However, determination alone may not always be enough. Universities, lecturers, husbands, families and communities all have a role to play. Lecturers can show reasonable understanding when genuine family emergencies occur, while universities can strengthen counselling and student-support services. Husbands and families can also contribute by sharing household responsibilities and encouraging women to continue their education. After all, why should a woman have to choose between being a good wife and becoming an educated professional?

Most importantly, married women in university should not be defined only by the difficulties they face. They are students, mothers, wives and individuals with dreams of their own. Their academic achievements can inspire their children and other women who may be afraid to return to school after marriage. Every examination passed, assignment submitted and degree earned can represent much more than academic success; it can represent perseverance in the face of competing responsibilities.

Ultimately, the struggle of married women in university is not simply a personal problem. It is an issue that deserves attention from universities and society. Education should provide opportunities for people to improve their lives, not create unnecessary barriers because of their family responsibilities. If a married woman can care for a family and still fight her way through university, shouldn’t society make that journey easier rather than harder? Behind every married female student is a story of sacrifice, hope and determination—and sometimes, the woman sitting quietly in the classroom may be fighting the biggest battle of her life.

Mary Ishaya
Department of Mass Communication
Kashim Ibrahim University