The Internet Is Not Our Village Square: A Cautionary Plea To Keep Family Issues Offline -By Isaac Asabor

There was a time, not long ago, yet now seemingly distant, when family matters were handled with dignity, discretion, and wisdom. Matrimonial disputes, sibling conflicts, and even inheritance problems were issues that stayed within the home, handled by family elders and trusted go-betweens. When these disputes grew too heavy for the family to handle internally, they were taken to the “village square”, where respected elders and chiefs presided under the shade of ancient trees. In the rarest of cases, the monarch himself might step in, impartial, revered, and wielding the full weight of tradition, to bring about peace and resolution.

This model worked. It was dignified, restorative, and rooted in community. It protected the vulnerable, preserved family honor, and ensured that matters remained within context, resolvable and contained.

However, in today’s digital age, these traditions have been upended, replaced by the chaotic, vicious, and often humiliating spectacle of “public conflict resolution on the internet”. What the village square once symbolized in terms of communal justice and guided judgment has now been caricatured in the form of comment sections, gossip blogs, Instagram lives, and the court of public opinion.

No longer are family issues treated with privacy or caution. Instead, personal woes are thrown into a public arena dominated by anonymous spectators, social media gurus, and bloggers whose primary interest is not peace, but clicks, views, and virality. It has become a culture where celebrities and political elites are the worst offenders. They rush online to narrate their battles, forgetting that once you invite the internet into your personal matters, you are no longer guaranteed dignity or control.

Consider the case of Ned Nwoko and Regina Daniels. Their marriage, already controversial by virtue of its multi-wife dynamic, has been the subject of relentless online drama, most of it fueled by personal revelations, accusations, and emotional responses splashed across social media. Personal disputes between co-wives and family tensions were brought directly to the public’s attention, where millions were suddenly self-appointed judges of affairs they had no business knowing.

It does not end there. 2Baba (Innocent Idibia), one of Africa’s most respected singers, was repeatedly dragged through digital mud alongside his wife, Annie Idibia, as their marital challenges played out on the internet, through cryptic Instagram statuses, emotional live videos, and public apologies. Matters that should have been handled within the sanctuary of a home were instead converted into viral content. The net effect? They may reconcile, but with their dignity eroded and their legacy scarred.

The implosion of the P-Square duo, Peter and Paul Okoye, further set a precedent for how not to resolve brotherly conflict. Their bitter feud, once hidden behind closed doors, spilled fully online. Fans and foes alike watched with disbelief as their bond crumbled, followed by marital drama involving Peter’s wife, Lola Omotayo. What could have been resolved at a family roundtable became a worldwide conversation, shamelessly covered by blogs.

And now, Ayodele Fayose and his brother Isaac’s dispute, which could have been sorted over a phone call or at a family meeting in Ibadan or Afao, is weaponized on Instagram. Screenshots, recordings, accusations, all in the open. It leaves one to ask: At what point did we become so reckless with our own blood? Did the quest for public sympathy outweigh the value of familial redemption?

One particularly jarring example of this disturbing trend is the recent situation involving the Akwa Ibom State Governor, Umo Eno, and his daughter, Jane Eddidiong Ufot. What should have been handled powerfully and privately, a family conflict surrounding private matters, was launched directly into the public domain after the governor’s daughter took to social media in an emotional series of posts and videos expressing grievances against her father and family dynamics. Rather than receive counsel away from public glare, the issue was transformed into a statewide conversation, with bloggers dissecting lines, TikTokers reacting dramatically, and critics using it to settle political scores. Whether or not her claims hold weight is beside the point, the damage done is permanent. Discussions that once could have been resolved under the guiding words of a trusted elder were instead swung like a hammer on the internet’s hard anvil.

This new culture of digital confessionals is laughable, and tragic. The internet is not the village square. It has no structure, no integrity, and no compassion. It is a crowd of strangers, many of them hostile, who will devour every detail of your pain without offering real solutions. In addition, the worst part? The internet never forgets. Ten years from now, when these parties have reconciled or when wounds have healed, these screenshots and video clips will still circulate, mocking the dignity those involved once had.

Let this be a wake-up call to anyone watching, and especially to those whose status or fame might tempt them to parade private matters for public attention: Resist it! Not every emotion needs an audience. Not every dispute is content. Never trade the sanctity of family for fleeting empathy, likes, or headlines.

Return to the wisdom of the old ways. Seek counsel. Call family meetings. Speak to elders. Let infractions be resolved within the walls of kin, not under the harsh, unfiltered glare of digital voyeurs.

When the internet becomes your village square, peace slips out of reach. When strangers gain access to your pain, dignity is lost. In addition, once that dignity is compromised, even reconciliation carries scars.

So before you hit “post,” remember:”a trending fight is rarely worth the permanent humiliation that follows.

The elders knew better. It is time we did too.