Don’t Be A Table Duster; Join The Coalition If You Can -By Abdulkadir Salaudeen

The politicking aimed at unseating President Tinubu by his opponents has started. So is the politicking that is aimed at keeping him in office till 2031 (or as life president) by his supporters. In fact, it is taking an interesting turn. Those who are fixated on unseating Tinubu could not hide their hatred for Ọmọ Ologo and the Emilokan theorist. They are desperate to uproot the evil which they said they brought to power. Who is the evil that is referred to here? Readers know better. Tinubu himself confessed that they hate him like Hell. He was referring to Nigerians who don’t like him, especially those who are hellbent on sending him back to Lagos.

As usual, in life, you cannot be hated by all, even if you are more Satanic than Satan. Similarly, one cannot be loved by everyone, even if one is more angelic than angels. While Tinubu is strongly hated like Hell in some quarters, he is also blindly loved by some people. If those forming coalition against Tinubu hate him like Hell without hiding it, the former Governor of Nassarawa State, Senator Tanko Al-Makura, represents those who love Tinubu like Paradise without owing anyone apology.

Al-Makura made this known on Trust TV last week that he is an incurable and committed member of All Progressives Congress (APC) and could do anything to please his master, Tinubu. In his words: “If Mr President, as the leader of this country, tells me that ‘Al-Makura, I want you to come to my office and dust my table every Monday, that is what pleases me, that is what I feel will make the party and this country progress, I can assure you that I will make it a date that every Monday, at that appointed time, I will come, dust the table, and go.” To display his unalloyed loyalty to Tinubu, he capped it all: “I will be satisfied that I have done what the President wants. That is the level of my commitment and loyalty to a leader.”

Based on this unfortunate and unwholesome utterance, he has been referred to as Tinubu’s slave. Truly, one cannot be so submissive without being a slave. For this reason, I find it difficult to disagree with those who call Al-Makura Tinubu’s slave. But at the same time, can’t his utterance be interpreted differently and even positively? Can’t we say he made that servile statement with a deep sense of patriotism? Good listeners who listened to the interview would notice that Al-Makura’s willingness to dust Tinubu’s table every Monday is with “if.” That is to say, only “if” that will make APC and Nigeria progress. In other words, if dusting Tinubu’s table every Monday would not make Nigeria progress, perhaps Al-Makura will not dust the table.

I am giving this positive interpretation to Al-Makura’s apparent slavish statement not to defend him. Politicians are funny people. It is possible that he has truly enslaved himself to Tinubu or willing to enslave himself. But I just can’t imagine why a two-term governor, a former senator, and an old man like Al-Makura who is a septuagenarian would choose to be a slave to another septuagenarian (if we agree Tinubu is not above 80).

Looking at it from another angle, can we say Al-Makura is one of the sycophants with whom Tinubu surrounds himself who habitually make sycophantic utterances just to please the President, make him happy, and get some favor? This is also possible, considering the fact that he is eyeing the exalted seat of APC National Chairman like other contenders, especially the White Lion (former Governor Yahaya Bello) from Kogi State whose posters, we learnt, have flooded Abuja streets since the position will must likely be Zoned to North Central. For instance, when Al-Makura was asked whether he would accept the position of the national chairman of APC, his response, without any reluctance, was that he would gladly accept the offer.

Therefore, anyone that understands the master-slave relationship that exists between elected rulers and their lackeys in Nigeria will not find Al-Makura’s willingness to dust Tinubu’s table too outrageous. The king maker that suddenly became king deserves more than that. Al-Makura should not only dust Tinubu’s table every Monday, he should dust it to his satisfaction. He should not stop at that, he should lick Tinubu’s boot and even lick it very well with slavish dedication. I don’t know why this should cause headache to any Nigerian. What should be the concern of every suffering Nigerian is how to join the coalition—or any other political party—that will help to pull Nigeria back before it slides into a full-fledged autocracy as I pointed out on this page last week. If we are successful in doing that, what we should do next is to hold elected officials accountable.

Although they appear to be the alluring brides and the cynosures of all eyes that are tired of seeing Tinubu on that seat, the internally displaced politicians IDP in the coalition should never be trusted. No one should fall for their putative mission to “rescue” Nigeria from the former “rescuers” who are now in government but making life difficult for the masses. To be on the safe side, it is advisable to view these “rescuers” in the coalition as liars, deceivers, and hypocrites until they prove to be truthful, straightforward, and righteous.

Now that governance seems to have been suspended in this regime in preparation for the 2027 election, I don’t know if it is too late (or not) to advise our rulers in Nigeria. The advice is that no leader or ruler (as the case may be) should allow anyone, whether out of love or stupidity, to deify them. Don’t allow your loyalists to enslave themselves to you and don’t smile at sycophants. Sycophants are worse than slaves. Slaves are not necessarily sycophants. Sycophants are the worst calamities that can strike a ruler.

Slaves are less destructive than sychophants. There could be among slaves those who are God fearing and responsible. Though loyal to their masters, some slaves will still find a way to offer sincere advice. This is not the case with sycophants who are inherently and entirely dangerous. Nothing good comes from them and nothing good should be expected from them. With Al-Makura’s publicly declared willingness to please President Tinubu, I fear he is not trying to be a sycophant.

Let me emphasize again, sycophants are the most irresponsible people; they should not be tolerated by any intelligent and wise ruler. Only fool and stupid rulers would get their egos massaged when being praised by sycophants. Wise rulers would rather throw sand into their faces. May God increase His blessings upon the Prophet; he did not forget to caution those with listening ears about sycophants. He said: “When you see those who flatter others (praise singers), throw sand in their faces.” Four years ago, In an article titled “Leaders should be Wary of Sycophants’ Shenanigans and their Lies”, I wrote: “When a leader gives a listening ear to sycophants, they not only abase him, they kill the state. Failure of a leader is a failure of a nation.”

Fellow Nigerians, don’t be table dusters; join the coalition if you can. If you cannot, join any other party or stay away from party politics. If you must remain in APC, at least, remain dignified. Don’t trade your integrity for a penny.

Dear politicians, your children, neighbours, and family and friends are watching. They listen to your utterances. Don’t shame them or subject them to ridicule. I am just wondering how Al-Makura’s family and friends would feel when he made that servile utterance.

Abdulkadir Salaudeen 

salahuddeenabdulkadir@gmail.com