Let Tinubu Kuku Kill All Of Us Kawai, by Abdulkadir Salaudeen

Nigerians are the most resilient people I know. Despite these killings, our population is always on the increase. I expect the population to plummet. Killings everywhere. One is either killed by bandits or kidnappers. If one escapes being killed by ISWAP, they might be ambushed by Boko Haram. However, Killings by these agents of death are nothing compare to the lives that have been lost to hunger, malnutrition, sickness, and depression due to hopelessness. Everyday, countless number of Nigerians die of poverty and hunger. Many who are not clearly in the poverty cycle are depressed due to the fear of being drawn into the ever expanding cycle of poverty. All this, courtesy of Tinubu’s strangulating policies. Yet, he does not give a damn.

Under Tinubu who is said to be a democrat, democrats are being locked up for being democrats. Their offence? They protested against hunger and bad governance by carrying placards. This simple expression of democratic right has become treasonable offence in Nigeria under Tinubu. While protesters are easily tracked and arrested, gun wielding terrorists terrorize and kill Nigerians as if they had the support of government. They make calls to negotiate ransom even as government continues to appoint minister of communication.

My sense is: “protest against bad governance and hunger is perceived to be protest against government and Tinubu. That is treasonable and could be punishable by death. But since bandits, kidnappers, and terrorists are not against the government, they are only killing common Nigerians—farmers and the bloody poor—no problem.” As rapt listeners, all that you hear from Nigerian government when these agents of death commit their atrocities is: “We will deal with them,” “it is condemnable,” “perpetrators won’t go unpunished,” “government promises justice for victims of attack” etc. That is all. As usual, the government has reacted to the recent killings in Yobe State where more than hundred Nigerians were reportedly killed with these nice words. And that is all. Is it not cowardice to flex muscles against placard-carrying protesters and turn a blind eye when terrorists strike?

There is no disputing the fact that Nigeria is hellish under Tinubu. Though the eternal Hell is for arrogant sinners, Tinubu, with his cold policies, has successfully created his own personal “Hell” in Nigeria for all. What qualifies one to be in Tinubu’s Hell is to be a civil servant, petty trader, self employed, unemployed, underemployed, to be poor. To keep the long list short, once one does not belong to the ruling class, he or she is most likely qualified to be in Tinubu’s “Hell.”

Recently, Steve Hanke, a professor of applied economics at Johns Hopkins University described Tinubu as “arrogant, ignorant, and incompetent.” Though many Nigerian newspapers reported Hanke’s remark, I have not seen any rejoinder to Hanke’s characterization of Tinubu from any of his “brilliant” technocrats and spokespersons. Could that be a tacit approval of Hanke’s characterization of their boss? Hanke cringed at the arrogance and callousness that propelled Tinubu to purchase aircraft with about 150 billion naira at a time Nigeria’s inflation rate has gone haywire. He wrote: “Meanwhile, I accurately measure Nigeria’s inflation at a SHOCKING 114%/yr. “This far exceeds official figures in Nigeria.

If I were one of Tinubu’s praise singers, I will rejoinder Hanke and I will make it brief. I would have penned the following: “Dear Prof  Steve Hanke, do you think Nigeria is a sane country like America—economically speaking? In fact, our lawmakers and executives have no problem with replacing 19 year old jet with 15 year old jet at a whopping sum of$100million.Maybe you are not aware, one of our prominent clerics (“men of God”) considered the decision to buy presidential jet the best of all decisions taken by this administration even as the masses die of hunger. For your information, all the economic sense you can think of is nonsense in Nigeria under Èmi lo kàn. Therefore, you do not need to tell us that our president is arrogant, ignorant, and incompetent.”

When I learnt that fuel price has been hiked again, my spontaneous remark is the title of this column “Let Tinubu Kuku Kill all of us Kawai. “Honestly, I was crestfallen and that was conspicuous in my mood. I became moody instantly and I am yet to recover as I write. I thought of my earnings that can now hardly feed myself and my little kids—this is after making all the adjustments you can think of. I thought of those whose earnings are way below mine, those without regular earnings, and those who do not have any source of income. The two words in the title “kuku” and “kawai” are Yoruba and Hausa words respectively. I may not be entirely accurate in my translation of them into English. They convey the meaning of “simply” as in “Let Tinubu simply kill all of us.

Describing the terrible outcome of salary negotiation between NLC and FG in my column titled “Protesting Hardship and the N70K Minimum Wage, “I wrote:” In a word, the FG won. In another word, the NLC lost. To crown it all, the masses are in trouble.” To those whose foresight could not guide to understanding the trouble in the 70k minimum wage and the failure of NLC, this is the time to understand.

While 70k itself is a ridiculous offer which the FG is yet to, PMS (fuel)now sells for almost N1000/litre at NNPCL filling stations while other filling stations sell a litre more than N1000. Plan to increase VAT also from 7.5% to 10% is in the offing. It means Nigerians are in a new phase of hardship under the man who “built” Lagos. Rate at which prices of commodities will rise can only be imagined. What about transport fare? I learnt the Lagos State Governor Babajide Sanwo Olu asked civil servants to work from home for three months. So, what happens after three months? Do we even have the facilities to work from home? How do doctors and nurses work from home? How do policemen work from home? What about those in the private sectors who are not civil servants? What about traders whose shops are in markets far away from home?

We are in a deep mess. The 81 year old professor of economics, Hanke, said this about Tinubu few months ago. He (Tinubu), according to Hanke, is the Master of Economic Disaster. It is as if Hanke has invested enough time to study Tinubu and his policies. In his recent caricature of Tinubu, Tinubu is depicted piloting his new presidential jet and globetrotting while his country burns. If I were a member of Tinubu’s family, I will be ashamed of myself. Even as a citizen, I am ashamed to admit that a citizen of another country makes such huge mockery of our president and many agree with him. But do we blame Hanke?

Tinubu and his family are obviously living in opulence while the masses burn in the Hell he created. The Muslim-Muslim clerics who have access to Tinubu should please meet him in camera, hold his hand, and advise him that he must learn how to show empathy—or at least sympathy. They should tell him that when Umar Ibn Khattab was the Caliph and things were tough in the year of Ar-Ramadah (year of famine), Umar (RA) said, reacting to hunger in the land, “I do not like to eat in an extravagant manner. How can I be concerned for the people if I do not suffer what they suffer?” They should also tell Tinubu that when the price of ghee became very high, Umar (RA) ate olive oil. He could not eat, yogurt or milk which he considered too expensive until people could afford it. His hunger caused his stomach to rumble but he would say, “Rumble as much as you like, for by Allah you will not get ghee until the people eat it!”

Can Tinubu be like Umar? Many would say it is impossible.

Me: with God, everything is possible. The only thing those clerics need to do is their part.

No one should accuse me of stupid optimism. May God help Nigerians and guide our rulers.

Abdulkadir Salaudeen

salahuddeenabdulkadir@gmail.com