Men’s Mental Health -By Okoro Blessing Ebruvwiyoghene

It had rained heavily that evening, so I slept early because of the cold. As a child, it was normal for me to wake up during the night to use the bathroom, and that was exactly what happened that day. As I made my way through the house, I saw my dad sitting quietly on a chair in the living room, his hands resting on his chin, completely lost in thought.

For a brief moment, I could have sworn I saw pain and confusion in his eyes. But almost immediately, those emotions disappeared after I called out to him. At the time, I was too young to understand what I had witnessed. Looking back now, I realize those expressions reflected what he was truly feeling—pain, fear, uncertainty, and confusion.

I often wonder why he never complained about how he felt. Why was he always hiding his emotions? Over time, I came to understand that, for many men, vulnerability has been wrongly associated with weakness.

Many men are told that crying is a sign of weakness, even though the human body was naturally created to produce tears during overwhelming moments. Yet, some men suppress their emotions because they have been taught that showing vulnerability means they are not “strong enough.”

Most men learn this belief from observing other men. They see fathers, brothers, uncles, and other male figures who hide their emotions in an effort to protect their families. As a result, they begin to believe that strength means silence.

There are certain expectations placed on men, and sometimes those expectations become unrealistic. Society encourages men to put the needs of their families above their own. In carrying these responsibilities, many men gradually neglect even their most basic needs.

You will often hear a man say, “I can’t even remember the last time I bought something for myself.” Statements like these may sound ordinary, but they often reveal the silent sacrifices many men make every day.
Some men quite literally throw away their own dreams once they start a family. Many give up aspirations of furthering their education to earn a master’s degree or even a PhD because they know they may not be able to afford both their education and the education of their children. They sacrifice their ambitions so their families can have better opportunities.

When society speaks about men as providers, I am not entirely against that idea. However, I also believe that men deserve to be seen and understood beyond the responsibilities they carry. Regardless of how they were created or what roles they are expected to fulfill, they are still human beings with emotions, fears, and blood running through their veins.

Many students can relate to this experience. There are times we ask our fathers for money, and they tell us they don’t have any. Yet somehow, they still find a way to send the money. When we later ask how they managed to get it, they often avoid the question or simply refuse to explain.

I remember hearing stories about men who worked tirelessly to provide for their families. After spending long hours on the road, they would still return home and do everything they could to ensure their children had what they needed.

These moments remind us that many acts of love carried out by men are often silent. We see the results of their sacrifices, but we rarely see the weight they carry to make those sacrifices possible.
Men are often seen as people who should endure whatever life throws at them. They are expected to remain standing even when the storms of life become overwhelming. If a man chooses to seek shelter from those storms, people may question his strength. They ask, “As a man, why are you crying?” “Why are you stressed?” “Why are you depressed?” Yet no one questions why a man should be denied the same comfort and protection that everyone else deserves.

This way of thinking suggests that men alone should bear the harsh realities of life without support. In truth, men deserve compassion just as much as anyone else.

Men’s mental health has historically been characterized by underdiagnosis, societal stigma, and high rates of externalized symptoms such as substance abuse, aggression, and, in many cases, suicide.

For generations, traditional societal norms have equated masculinity with silence. Men have been conditioned to suppress their emotions, resulting in emotional pain that often manifests as anger, irritability, withdrawal, or unhealthy coping mechanisms. Many avoid seeking professional help because they fear being perceived as weak rather than resilient.

The consequences are devastating. Male suicide rates remain alarmingly high in many parts of the world, often representing the tragic outcome of years of untreated emotional pain and psychological distress.

Research has also shown that many men have never openly discussed their mental health because they fear judgment or being seen as weak. Financial pressure, work-related stress, and social isolation continue to be among the leading factors contributing to mental health challenges among men. When left unaddressed, these pressures can lead to burnout, emotional exhaustion, depression, and social disconnection.
So I would urge everyone of us out there, pick up your phone today, call your dad, brother, husband and let them know that you appreciate and see all their sacrifices, genuinely ask about their lives, works, schools, and everything you think could stress them out, they might wave it off with the “I’m fine ” response, but deep down that little act of care would make them feel seen and appreciated.